Done Right Inn

I went out for a New Years beer and ended up discovering this great graffitied restroom at Done Right Inn.

There were a few decent words of wisdom written over these walls:

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Sex & The City’s Steve Brady (Miranda’s partner) is a lesbian

Whitney was wrong: it’s not right, AND it’s not ok

Don’t ever “agree to disagree”. Be a MAN or a woman and fight … for the right to paaaaartay

If only women were gravestones: then they’d never be told to turn their frown upside down

Men who finger bang will be condemned to come back as women who are finger banged

Piss in the fuckin’ toilet, douche

Plus there was a whole wall dedicated to an insightful Bukowski quote:

If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way.


Merry Christmas 2017

Ho ho ho, it’s two days til Christmas AAAND Toilography turns six years old today! Happy holidays everyone!

(and just like last year’s Christmas message, cheers to Sneaky Dees for maintaining the best graffitied loos in Toronto!)

Foufounes urinals

Staple Montreal dive bar Foufounes Electriques absolutely delivers when it comes to grungy basement urinals

Jimmy Jazz

Jimmy Jazz was the final stop of my whirlwind tour of Guelph and I was very pleased with the quality of dive they had going on inside these dunnies. As avid Toilographers know, each time I come across heavily-graffitied washroom walls I like to take note of their many words of wisdom – there were certainly some philosophical & existential corkers here at the Jazz.

Education is a system of imposed ignorance. – N. Chomsky

It’s no good measure of health, to be found to be well-adjusted in a profoundly sick society. – J. Krishnamurti

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. – Edward Bernays

Sorry, damaged my shitty hipster love in a car accident
– Dude, fuck off, you’re at the Jazz
– It’s ok, no one cares
– Here’s to the few who forgive what you do and the few who don’t even care

Antisocial behaviour is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists. – Nikola Tesla

Terrorism is the best political weapon for nothing drives people harder than a fear of sudden death… if you repeat a lie big enough, long enough and often enough then the people will eventually believe the lie. They are more likely to believe a big lie than a small one. – Adolph Hitler

Jimmy’s Jazz didn’t taste as good as my dads
– Multiple dads?

No doubt I’m cooler than your cooler full of Palm Bays
– But what about my fridge?

RIP Uncle Anus

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all. – Aristotle

If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy…
If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing…
Blah blah. – Bob Marley

Watching TV is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. – Bill Hicks

I’m not taking a shit! I’m leaving one.

Fear is your only god!
– Except those who fear God

He who fucks nuns will later join the church. – J. Strummer

I’m in love with a ghost girl, all alone in a lonely world

There is a demon in me and I can’t separate my flesh so when it crawls onto you just know I want to hold my breath
– Give your balls a tug, make sure they’re still attached

This entire room used to be filled with intelligent, beautiful quotes. WTF, Jazz?

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King

[Spoken in Spanish accent]
Amigo, there seems to be copious amounts of shite written on these walls by pseudo-intellectuals quoting famous people… which seems rather ironic to me since we’re in a room littered, literally, with a lot of written figurative shit.

Van Gogh’s Ear

A beautifully grimy Guelph mens room at Van Gogh’s Ear


I went to this bar Lola the other day in my beloved Kensington Market; the friendly bartender approved of my Halloween plans to dress as a slutty ghost and watch Rocky Horror.

Anyway… here are some words of wisdom from the Lola walls:

“Dead or alive, you are coming with me”

“Shithawk loves u”

“Just like the bleach on God’s teeth”

And the rather inspiring “Cease your fretting, you’re beautiful and flawless and all. Forget thy past, live for the moment, thrive for the future”

The Black Cat

The heavily tagged chambers of Washington DC’s Black Cat