Emasculatomes

I headed on down to Washington DC for a long weekend with a great big list of interesting restrooms to check out thanks to the kind folk on Reddit at /r/WashingtonDC

The first venue I stopped at was Fishers Farmers Bakers, which had emasculatomes hanging above the urinals (technical term for BULL CASTRATORS!) If that’s not anxiety-inducing enough, there’s a little engraved message below which says: “Please pee neatly. Don’t be an animal. Animals get fixed.” 🐂✂️

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Rustic tin stall

I had a delicious cocktail called the Obama Honey Cider at the upmarket Teddy & The Bully Bar in downtown DC and was happy to see this rustic tin stall in their restroom. It certainly had a pleasant outdoorsy campground feel to it

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Oki Bowl

Not much more can be said about the Oki Bowl restroom than simply, woah.

Not only have the guys who run this downtown DC ramen bar mastered the intimate surreal atmosphere with eccentric trinkets & gadgets plastered all over the walls, but check out this incredible bathroom:

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Definitely one of the trippiest toilets I’ve ever seen


Homely Russian restroom

A homely restroom at Mari Vanna, a Russian restaurant with a handful of locations around the world, known for the fabled St Petersburg resident of the same name who would invite anyone & everyone into her house for a home-cooked meal

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Spy toilet signs

Some spy-themed WC signs at the International Spy Museum

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Dan’s Cafe

The sketchy as fuck restroom at the infamous Dan’s Cafe, I love this place (and not only cause it’s named after me). For $20 they sell squeeze bottles of whatever pint of alcohol + mixer you like. Bargain.

Some words of wisdom from these toilet walls: “God is blind, God is love, Ray Charles is blind, Ray Charles is God”, “Why cry over parts of life when the whole of it calls for our tears?” and “Maya makes me smile! Maya makes me laugh! Maya makes me complete! ❤️” – followed rather smuttily in different handwriting by “Maya makes me CUMplete”

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Divas at Duplex Diner

All the divas at Duplex Diner: Whitney, Madonna, Cher, Barbra, Celine, Kylie, Mariah, Beyoncé

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2 Birds 1 Stone

Two very different themes going on at this downtown DC bar, 2 Birds 1 Stone

First was a bright blue & white leafy texture in the PG room:

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Then across the hall was a slightly more M-rated room with some naughty pictures on the wall:

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Pig on the wall at DC Reynolds

A pig on the wall at DC Reynolds along Georgia Ave NW

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Cocaine

Lyman’s Tavern is a fun place. On the Friday night I was there I entered a long, thin room packed to the brim with a couple of hundred thirsty locals, many of whom were playing pinball & arcade games at the opposite end of the bar.

The fun stops in the bathroom though:

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